Before anything else, let me just say that I’m still trying to get my blogging mojo back. So if this entry ends up all soupy, please forgive me.
On our way home from worship last Tuesday, dad updated me on the current status of our fellow community member and his battle against cancer. He had just found out that night that tito was actually diagnosed with colon cancer and that he had undergone the normal chemo regimen. He’s been fine for months now. “He didn’t need radiation anymore,” dad said, and we went on to discuss my treatment and how it had played out longer than expected.
Quick summary: Originally, my treatment was just supposed to be 6 chemo cycles. When I went for a CT scan on the 6th, things had already changed considerably, but not enough to be cleared; so we went on for 4 more. After the 10th, I had another scan done and nothing had changed. My onco told me he could either a) change my regimen or b) refer me for radiation. We went with B and 3 years and 40 radiation therapy sessions after, here I am, alive and well. 🙂
Anyway, that conversation of ours made me realize a couple things. (Introverted Psych major — can there be a more lethal combo?)
First off, that I had the best doctors ever. Second, that for a survivor, I’m doing a pretty crap job at taking care of myself and living life to the fullest. Third, and most important of all, that I have been acting like a total ditz lately.
So yeah, I realized I’ve been bitching about so many things lately. So many TRIVIAL things, now that I think about it. I’ve asked God so many times already why He has kept me on hold for this long. But then when I stop and reflect on it, hasn’t He already tested my patience and perseverance once? And hadn’t I succeeded? What’s so different this time around? That I’m not sick? That I know I can now take matters into my own hands, since I’m not anymore hanging on for dear life? Hashtag self-burn.
I guess my greatest takeaway here is PERSPECTIVE. Right now, everything’s going fine and dandy, except for maybe two aspects of my life. I don’t really know why I’m complaining — well, actually, yeah I do: I want to become a well-functioning member of society and be the independent woman I claim to be. On the other hand, I have all this time on my hands to work on creative projects and improve myself and chizz. All that, while still getting to eat three full meals a day (and not worrying about having my hard-earned money turn into Koko Krunch).
As human beings, we tend to focus on things that get in the way of us having “the perfect life”. Thus, making us glaze over the million other things that are going right. I’m complaining right now about having to wait for what I want, but if God hadn’t taught me to wait 3 years ago, would I still even be here worrying about this? And hasn’t He already proven so many times in the past that the trials that come my way are all for my benefit?
Perspective. GRATITUDE and perspective. Be thankful for what you have now, appreciate the life you lead, and take things in stride. Be patient and always look on the bright side. Instead of focusing on the trivial problems, focus on the bigger picture. #NotesToSelf
This song played on my iPod immediately after I had experienced something unfortunate the other day. Sharing it with you. Indeed, the answers to life’s questions take time. Things may not be clear now, but they will be soon. 🙂P.S. Sorry for being so soupy. Hope you’re all doing well!