2016 Christmas Blog Series

2016 Christmas Blog Series

I want to do a blog series for Christmas this year just because 1) I love Christmas and 2) I need¬†to keep my brain cells active (they’re dying, TBH).

So I gathered questions from all over the internet (maybe I’ll come up with my own next year) that I could use for the next 15 days, starting tomorrow, December 11, until Christmas Day. The first few questions are just general questions, while the last few are a bit more on the spiritual side because, well, Christmas is about Jesus Christ, after all. ūüôā Continue reading “2016 Christmas Blog Series”

Little Bumps

I don’t know if it’s proper to ask God for anything specific anymore with regards to my illness. I feel like bargaining with Him would¬†equal non-acceptance and once again trying to take control of the situation.

Before this, I prayed, Lord, please let it be benign. That did not happen. But that was a long shot anyway.

This time around, I’m not sure if asking for the treatment to just be radiation would be pushing it¬†again. Or maybe my prayer should be,¬†Lord, please prescribe me the best possible yet least painful treatment.¬†Maybe.

I can’t fully describe the state I’m in right now. I’m okay¬†but I still find myself in random fits of tears. I am trying my very best to accept but at the back of my mind, a tiny voice is asking, Why this again? What is it you want me to learn, Lord?

Lesson #1, definitely:¬†Honor your father and your mother and you will have a blessed life. My parents keep telling me to lessen my sugar intake, sleep at the right time, and exercise. I did lessen my sugar intake considerably. I found it hard to sleep at the right time especially with all my responsibilities; but I made sure to always get at least 7.5 (usually 9 hours) rest, regardless of the time. Exercise? I’m pretty sure running from cabin to galley at light speed while defying gravity counts for something. I should stop lying to myself.

I don’t know where I’m at right now but I’m taking it one step at a time. Like what the ortho-onco said today, “There will always be little bumps along the way to overcome with cancer patients. We just have to address¬†them and move on. That’s it.”

My God and I have fought this before. My God and I will fight it again. After all, what’s the point of training a warrior princess and arming her with the Word, if¬†it will not be tested in the battlefield.

This is when true faith begins. Increase where I decrease, Lord.