Why, hello there! If you clicked this, you’re probably a) single, b) in a relationship you’re unsure of, or c) just someone who likes to read. Either way, HELLO!
So it’s 2 days until Valentine’s Day (or Singles Awareness Day for the ampalayas of this world) and I’m starting to see VDay/SAD-related posts on my feed again. TBQH, I look forward to reading parinig statuses each year just because I find them funny… and also literally quite sad because why even. 🙄
Obviously, I don’t subscribe to the idea of Valentine’s Day. You’ve probably heard this reasoning before, but there isn’t supposed to be just one designated day to show someone you love them. But yeah, I get it. You’re given a free pass to be bold and show someone you like-like them. Or, if you’re in a relationship, a day that’s universally recognized to take time off of your busy schedule to treat your partner to something out of the ordinary. Okay, sure, whatever. But I still think you can choose any other day, or days, to do that.
If you like-like someone, you shouldn’t wait for February 14 to tell them because sometimes, when you snooze, you lose, bruh. And also, really, how busy can you get to not have time to make your partner feel special? Please.
ANYWAY. That’s just me. And this has been my stand since… ever. I like joking about it, though. But I don’t think Kevin and I have ever even celebrated VDay. LOL.
ANYWAY # 2. From someone who has gotten out of the single but never really ready to mingle because introvert zone, I’d just like to give y’allz a few things to do while waiting for The One. 🙂
1. Learn to love yourself first.
Before you go into a relationship, please, learn to love yourself first. Because there is nothing more unattractive than someone who doesn’t value his or herself and needs someone else to be able to say that they are complete. NO. This is a formula for a toxic relationship waiting to happen.
Love yourself first. Know your worth. Enhance your skills. Recognize what you can bring to the table. Work to be whole for YOU, so when the time comes to let another person into your life, there will be two awesome individuals working towards an awesome forever, and not one clingy person who goes into a relationship and treats the other as a crutch.
You can’t give what you can not have, so in order to bring out the best in your partner, you also have to be your best self. So please, work on yourself first.
And on that note…
2. Stop advertising.
Alright, you’re single. Alright, someone just broke your heart and you’re looking for a rebound. Posting not-so-subtle hints on social media won’t solve things for you. Because you know what? The right guy/girl for you won’t be the one who sees/replies (to) your every status/post. The right one arrives at a time when you least expect it.
Tell me, what would you prefer:
Someone who sees your social media hints and comments or DMs you with a, “Hi, beautiful!” or whatever breezy line?
Or someone you meet in some random place, gets to know you as time goes by, realizes how much of a catch you are but is afraid that someone as awesome as you couldn’t possibly still be single… then eventually finds out you’re single and courts you?
Wouldn’t it be great to find someone who appreciates you for YOU and not just one who reacts to your desperation?
3. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. (Matthew 6:33)
Oh yeah, I went there. I used the bible. (Because why not? The bible holds the absolute truth.)
Anyway, before you go searching for a jowa, you should first search for God. Because when you do, like what is stated in the verse above, He will give you everything you need. Yes, even a jowa.
But seriously, if you first seek God and really get to know Him, everything else will fall into place. When you’re too busy glorifying God and being of service to Him, you won’t even realize how much time has passed and how He has, ta-dah, finally said that it is the right time for you to have a jowa.
If your life is anchored on God, jealousy, distrust, lack of self-worth will never rear their ugly heads. When you place God in the center of your life, He will be present in every aspect, and that includes your relationships. Once you know God’s real character, you will realize what you really want in life and He will lead you into a relationship that will last forever. Trust me on this one. 🙂
4. Have standards. Choose the non-negotiables. Then throw everything else out the window.
In my first Single Girl Diaries post, I wrote this:
Yes, fine, I have standards. But they’re pretty attainable. Off the top of my head (and according to my friends’ analyses): has to be either a brilliant musician/dancer/overachiever (friend’s words, not mine, so this is optional), has to be witty, has to have good grammar and communication skills, believes in God, does not have any vices, loves his mom…
and the list goes on. THERE IS NO LIST.As of now, though, the only people who fit the bill are Daniel Radcliffe, Zac Efron, Robert Downey Jr. (and/or Tony Stark), and Shawn Spencer (and/or James Roday).
We always have set standards until someone comes along who is (almost) the complete opposite, but whom you can’t seem to live without.
When things between Kevin and I started getting serious, I thought of reasons why I shouldn’t like him. (Sorry, love, if you’re reading this, please don’t get mad, lol.) I came up with these:
He wasn’t an overachiever or a virtuoso. Although he does sing and play the guitar. But, you know, I had always thought I’d end up with a concertmaster. HA. HA. HA.
He used to type using text speak. LOL. But he has decided to drop this on his own and type out words completely while using correct capitalization and punctuation. He has also learned to be wary of his uses of you’re and your… and ur. Meow.
On the other hand, he fit my most important standards:
He believes in God. And we have the same religion.
He loves his mom and his sister. He respects women. He values his family.
He does not have any vices. Except Pokémon Go.
He’s smart. Not sure if he has outwitted me yet, though. Maybe. LOL.
He makes me laugh. He also makes my heart go aww, shucks.
He’s chill. He takes things in stride and is super patient with bratty ol’ me.
He’s cute. Just felt I needed to say that after outing him in this post. LOLOLOLOLJK.
5. Once that person arrives, pray about it.
Pray long and hard. Listen to what the Lord has to say. Once you get your answer and it truly feels right, go for it.
Here’s a guide for knowing that it is:
Love is patient and kind; it is not jealous or conceited or proud; love is not ill-mannered or selfish or irritable; love does not keep a record of wrongs; love is not happy with evil, but is happy with the truth. Love never gives up; and its faith, hope, and patience never fail.
Love is eternal. There are inspired messages, but they are temporary; there are gifts of speaking in strange tongues, but they will cease; there is knowledge, but it will pass. For our gifts of knowledge and of inspired messages are only partial; but when what is perfect comes, then what is partial will disappear.
When I was a child, my speech, feelings, and thinking were all those of a child; now that I am an adult, I have no more use for childish ways. What we see now is like a dim image in a mirror; then we shall see face-to-face. What I know now is only partial; then it will be complete—as complete as God’s knowledge of me.
Meanwhile these three remain: faith, hope, and love; and the greatest of these is love. ~ 1 Corinthians 13
Change LOVE with your name. If you can say that you are patient and kind and all (or at least most of) the things above, or you can say the same about your partner-to-be, you’re entering the right relationship.
For now, wait on the Lord. Be courageous, and he will strengthen your heart. Wait on the Lord. (Psalm 27:14)
Happy Hearts Day! Go donate blood somewhere! 🙂