Wake Within Me


I have the most random of stories that led to the most random of realizations today, which I feel I need to blog about before I go to sleep.

So this afternoon, I left for church to attend the shepherding seminar something something for my *first official job* as a covenanted member. (Exciting stuff, TBQH.) Anyway, I opted to book a GrabCar ’cause I was already in a hurry. What was interesting was, when I got in, I found that my driver was listening to some pastor preaching about random Christian issues. I saw myself nodding in agreement upon hearing terms like “bitter roots” and so on. I didn’t ask him about his religion until we got to traverse half the stretch of Skyway. First, because I didn’t want a repeat of my previous GrabCar driver and his unnecessary shoving down/hard selling of his chosen religion. Second, because I didn’t want to find myself in a situation where there’s an awkward silence in between dialogues. HAHAHAHA I AM SO BAD AT SMALL TALK. #introversion

My driver switched to praise songs afterward and that’s when I asked him what church he was part of. He told me he was a Methodist. I said, “Wow, interesting! So what are your practices? Is that like born again/protestant?” He explained how it was much like that but how their praise & worship was more solemn. He also mentioned that he was actually a youth pastor. I was like, WHUUUUUT, INTERESTING. Like, what a serious koinkydink, ’cause he was actually bringing me to church where I would be learning about how I could be an effective youth facilitator.

We went on talking about what we do in our own communities. He shared what he does in church every weekend and how he drives for Grab as a sideline during weekdays so he could help out financially in building their new church. We talked about Catholic Charismatic communities like mine (Serviam), CFC, Bo Sanchez’s Feast, etc. He mentioned how Bo’s approach seemed to lean more towards financial freedom and how he felt that everyone who went to his Feasts were expected to be wealthier afterwards. I replied saying that that isn’t his community’s sole purpose, but that their talks are really more on empowerment and our empowering God, which I think we, as a culture, need. I elaborated saying that I think the problem with the Catholics in the poverty line is that they’re too optimistic that God will provide that they forget that they also have to do something to alleviate the problem. So I’m thankful for charismatic speakers like him who tell the people that, yes, God will provide, but you also have to do your part.

We then had a good discussion about religious vs. spiritual people, wanting to be Christ-like, etc. WHAT A REFRESHING CAR RIDE. WHUT. I was so amused by him ’cause he was legit unashamed to sing out loud to Don Moen tunes that were playing in his car and I was just like, wow, what a blessing.

And then, there, I got to Santuario and we (in community) discussed (over canapes and espresso, mind you) this new activity we were going to start with the newly-harvested Youth Ministry and I am just honestly TOO EXCITED. WHAT A GREAT FIRST JOB.

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I also got to talk to Tita L about the testimony she’s been asking me to write and submit for ages, but one I just couldn’t get myself to sit down and do because REASONS. But now, I’m actually looking forward to writing it. Turns out, I just needed some spiritual advice to shake me off my writer’s block.

So ANYWAY, I love this day ’cause it reminded me of my PURPOSE. Actually, it reminded me that I STILL had a PURPOSE. I felt I forgot that somewhere along the way, especially with the things that have been happening as of late.

Looking back at 2010 Abby vs. 2016 Abby, when I was told that *this* was happening, I actually felt the world stop. I lived one day at a time, with no clear future to look forward to. Just that I knew I had to survive. Now, though, when told that *this* was possibly happening, I had thoughts like: How many days do I need to go on SL and which flights will I be missing? Will I be given JFK huhu I hope yes. Where should I go now for my vacation leave in place of my Eurotrip? I hope my leg scars won’t look that ugly.

Newest question: How can I help make these kids’ lives better?! — HONESTLY EXCITED TO FIND OUT THE ANSWER TO THIS.

Additionally, thanks to Taylor Swift & Tom Hiddleston, I realized that there is no such thing as STOPPING. Life will always have MOVEMENT. It will always GO ON. If we think (the prospect of) death is our lives STOPPING, it isn’t. It’s just the start of our real lives in heaven. And, like what Mr. GrabCar driver and I discussed, it doesn’t matter how successful or famous you are on earth, because when we die, we will all be asked what we did to make things better for others while we were still alive. Our earthly possessions won’t be counted. Our intelligence won’t be taken into consideration. It’s how we lived in accordance with the fulfillment of His loving purpose for all of us.

So there. Such a lovely day. Sharing with you this song because it just seems fitting, given that God reignited the purpose in my heart. Haha what. Braaaaaiiiiinzzzzz.

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