Oh, wow, how do I even begin.
I have been successful so far in delaying discussing my move from Single Girl to In A Relationship Girl. It’s not that I don’t want to discuss it, because I do. It’s just that when I do have the time to sit down and write about it, my heart (why yes, I grew one over the years) and mind just aren’t in the right place. That, and because even after 20 months, I feel that I am still going through the motions. Which, if I were to really think about it, I’m not even sure I’m doing quite right.
But then again, maybe I am doing it right, or I just really have an awesome partner, since I’ve been Engaged Girl for almost 2 weeks now. ~gasp (I know right? When did I start becoming an adult?)
Phew. Seriously. Where do I even begin.
I met my boyfriend (now fiancé!), K, in our church community. He was part of the Singles Encounter class we sponsored back in 2013. I didn’t really pay much attention to him then, just that I found him funny and a nice source of positive vibes. He was always so hyperactive (still is, haha) and had a way of working the room. He loved asking people about their love lives and often squealed in delight whenever he encountered #hugot stories. Their SE class had a Facebook chat group where I became honorary member. I appreciated how his humor and wit shone through in all the discussions that took place. But even so, our friendship was superficial.
I remember quite well when things started to change — when he unknowingly gave me a glimpse of his heart. After one of our corporate worships, he asked me through SMS a simple yet loaded question. I forgot what his question was exactly, but I sensed that he was going through something, and that eventually started a 5-hour long conversation about relationships, heartaches, and whatnot. It was a nice conversation and I finally saw the other side of the funny guy, which, I found out a few more conversations after, he didn’t think he was even showing. (Ehem, sorry, Psych major here. LOL.)
We started talking with each other more after that. Our shepherds, as well as my best friend, started teasing us and telling me that K had a crush on me. Well, that was obvious from the get-go (HAHAHAHA DON’T KILL ME, LUBBS!) but I didn’t think much of it since we were both linked to other people at that time.
Fast forward a few months. I had already (secretly) started training at my current company. He was starting to send funny text messages my way, which I ignored ’cause I didn’t want any distractions. At the same time, I somehow felt I was being pulled into a place I didn’t want to find myself in anymore (my friends would know what I mean). He got the point. And I found myself missing him. WHY.
Fast forward a few more months. It was a blur of friendship and subtext. SE Weekend itself was fifty shades of awkward. How exactly do you talk to someone you have shared inside jokes with without letting other people around you know that you have shared said inside jokes with that someone???
On the second night, after the last activity for the day, he texted me asking me to meet him ’cause he wanted to tell me something.
Let me tell you right now that K is undeniably the bravest guy I have ever known.
That night, he confessed that he liked me and that he wanted to know more about me. We both remember this quite well — the whole time I just kept laughing ’cause I really did not know how to react. (NO ONE HAS EVER DONE THIS TO ME OKAY.) I was completely in awe at how honest and unguarded he was at that very moment. My heart beat so fast the whole time I was there. I half-wanted the veranda to collapse and save me from the awkwardness.
Get it together, Abby. He’s just confirming that he likes you. He is not proposing. He just wants to get to know you. Take a chill pill and say actual words instead of acting like an idiot.
“I would like to get to know you more, if you would allow me.”
So we did. From different parts of the world, I might add. Right after the SE Weekend, I was scheduled to fly a Kalibo scheme. He and his friends, on the other hand, whisked themselves off to Europe for 3 weeks.
It was an exciting getting to know you situation. It was also quite a struggle due to the time difference, but one that pretty much prepared us for what would inevitably be the nature of our relationship.
Fast forward three months, after he had prayed for me in Rome (naks!) and after we had gone through several dates and watched bad movies together (i.e. Noah), he gave a spontaneous speech about commitment and asked me if I would be his girlfriend.
Duh, yes, of course!”
Lelz. Pabebe si ate girl.
And the rest is history. One that proved how kind, patient, and loving K truly is. I entered into this blindly and honestly didn’t know how to be a girlfriend. If there was only a course on How To Be A Jowa 101, I would have definitely signed up for that.
I can be a real bizzatch and a brat sometimes, but he still manages to laugh and talk to me as calmly as possible.
It’s only recently that I learned how to be a “we” rather than an “I”, as well as how to be malambing. He would tell me honestly of his disappointments regarding this matter and I would try my best to be less selfish and independent. (Is it working?)
We have never truly fought; our disagreements always turn into thorough discussions wherein we break down the cause of our disagreements and eventually come up with resolutions.
I love his family and I love that he loves his family. I love that he researches on stuff he doesn’t understand before coming up with a conclusion or a course of action. I love how his friends are just like him — warm and welcoming. I love how he makes conversations with taxi drivers and manages to learn their life stories after just 30 minutes of traveling. I love how he manages to stop a situation from being awkward by steering the conversation in a different direction. I love how he understands my introvert needs despite being such an extrovert. I love that he is willing to try new things just to make me happy. I love how he always wishes me a safe and fun flight and rejoices every time I land. I love how he prays for me always, especially when I am down and oppressed. Whenever the situation is heavy he says, “Love, can I pray for you?” And I just end up in a puddle of tears.
He wasn’t the one I pictured I would spend the rest of my life with, to be honest. Looking back, I realized that the standards I supposedly had before were really just me being idealistic and my friends trying to rationalize why I was still single.
A lot of people have asked me why him? I can’t really blame them. After 26 years and a slew of potentials, indeed, why him. My initial answer was that I never felt unrest in my heart, as I normally did with my previous
flings suitors. For once, everything was just right. There were no red flags. I prayed for discernment and my prayer was answered with peace and joy.
So why him? Why not?
Fast forward to February 19. We were assigned as prayer leaders for that month’s Singles Night. Since it was Valentine’s Week, they saw it fit to assign a couple as worship leader. So we did that. And at the end of everything, K was called to say a “prayer for relationships”. Odd. That was never talked about.
I knew that was it.
So he prayed, right? And in the middle of the prayer he thanked God for giving me to him as a blessing (gaya-gaya ng term, lol) and he said something along the lines of “I hope and pray that you would give me a chance to take care of her and be with her forever.” Ganoin. So he knelt down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
And now seriously, the rest is history. Which I plan to blog about. LOL.
I’m honestly excited to embark on this journey with him by my side. Thank You, Lord, for the gift of K. Indeed, if we seek You first, You will bless us with more than we could ever ask for. You did not just save me for the right one, you saved me for the BEST one.
We’ve already started checking out churches the other day. Croo. Please pray for us. 🙂
To my lubby lubby soon to be hubby — if you’re reading this, I love you so much! Thank you for being you. 🙂