People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.
When people come into your life for a SEASON, because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
I remember reading this ages ago on Tumblr and decided it deserved a repost. The past week has been all about friendships and proverbial bridges for me, I find it quite strange.
Wednesday, I watched New Girl. In this episode, it was Cece’s birthday and she decided that instead of watching Clueless and eating cake with Jess, she wanted to go out and party with her model friends. Jess, of course, didn’t like Cece’s model friends ’cause she felt like they were turning Cece dumb. Anyway, one dialogue that stuck was this:
Jess: Do you think if we met today, we would still be friends?
Cece: I don’t know. But we’re friends now. 🙂
I love Jess and Cece’s friendship. They don’t have the same interests anymore, nor do they travel in the same circles, but they’re still there for each other. I could think of a couple of friends who are actually the Cece to my Jess (yes, I will always really be Jess, LOL). The thing with this, though, is that I also find myself asking the same question Jess asked. Would we still be friends if I met you today? Probably not. So what happened? What changed for us to end up in this sitch? In relation to the quote above, where do these people fall under? Are they the reason, the season, or the lifetime?
But I’m getting ahead of myself. I love the long quote above ’cause it’s just so spot on and like I said, the past week had FRIENDSHIP as its central theme. When I remembered this quote, I found myself compartmentalizing people into the three categories.
REASON. The first people that come to mind are those who reached out to me when I was sick. It was amazing. Random people from Tumblr started following me and messaging me and telling me how I’m a huge inspiration to them. There were also some alumni from my college org who reached out to me, sending me comforting messages and health tips and stuff. I appreciated that the most ’cause I didn’t know MOST of them, and yet they made the effort. I guess that’s partly where I drew my strength — knowing that people were waiting on, and rooting for, me to get well. I felt like if I gave up, I would be failing them. And I don’t like failing people.
Aside from this, I also remember a few people who, now that I realize it, came into my life really for specific reasons. A few came in to teach me about trust, a few about love, a few about independence, etc. I think about them every now and then and wonder why we aren’t close anymore, but somehow, I just couldn’t bring myself to be saddened by that fact. Some have hurt me, TBH, but I realized the pain they inflicted was necessary, because then I learned who to trust, who to love, and how not to depend on other people for things I could do myself.
SEASON. I went to see my cousin’s play last Saturday and it just so happened that one of my friends inserted himself as an extra in that production. It made me so nostalgic, seeing him onstage. He used to be the star of almost all the shows back in our time (wow, I talk about it as if it were decades ago, LOL). It made me jealous somehow, and it got me reminiscing about my days with the Cultural Arts Office. How’d everything go by so fast?! I am both happy and jealous of the current CAO members’ love and pride for the arts. That used to be me! *I cry berry many tears*
But I digress yet again.
I found myself thinking about the friends I met in college and the different groups I formed/was part of. CAO NSTP Block 1, ISM, Chorva, Wormz, ANK (haha, Mato!)… where are they now? Sometimes I find myself missing these people a whole lot and I do my best to reach out to them, plan hangouts and the like. None of them have ever pushed through (except the ones with Pops people, of course) just because everyone’s busy or whatever. I get disappointed sometimes but now that I think about it, maybe my disappointment is unnecessary? Unnecessary because, well, maybe the groups were made because the SEASON called for it. And now the season is over… so maybe I should stop holding on to it?
This applies to (some? of) my high school friends as well.
LIFETIME. I’m proud to say I’ve met these (platonic) lifetime-worthy people already. Again, thank you, cancer, for showing me who my real friends are. My family also falls under this category. Still waiting for someone to occupy that one other spot. 🙂
So there. How about you guys? Can you think of specific people in your lives who fall under these three categories? What are your thoughts on Jess and Cece’s friendship? Also, to those who know me personally… which category do I fall under? Haha.