Selfless


… was the name of the group I headed at our outreach in Marillac Hills yesterday. I’m not sure if it was God’s way of telling me (through Ate Andrei) to stop being so selfish but at the end of the day, I sure felt like that had to be my next goal.

Early into the week, Ate Andrei, my friend from Pops, texted me asking if I wanted to join their outreach at Marillac. She had already invited me February of last year but I had to decline due to work. Now that I’m unemployed, though, I basically have no reason NOT to go. I’m also trying to make myself more available to new things so what the hey, I said YES. I still had my apprehensions before the event, though, and it seemed like the universe was cooperating with me.

I think I ate something funny at this dinner party I attended the night before. My tummy was in rage! I thought it had already calmed down late into the night but it started acting up again when we reached the outreach site the next day. Que horror! This definitely did not sit well with my being a germaphobe. Just. Ugh. Add to that, the night before, I felt like I was coming down with the flu. I had woken up with a scratchy throat so I already knew I was developing a cough. But a flu?! Come on! Thankfully, though, I woke up the next morning with just my voice being nowhere to be found. That’s all. But no flu.

Oh, but did I mention that it rained the whole day yesterday? Great, right?

What made me push through despite these circumstances? The day’s reading from The Experience (by Henry & Richard Blackaby) which talked about how Mark let Paul down (Acts 13:13).

Have you ever blown it as a friend? Have you ever assured a friend he could count on you, only to let him down? Mark had that painful experience. He had been thrilled when Paul, the zealous missionary, and his own highly respected uncle, Barnabas, had invited him to join them on their next exciting missionary journey. It had begun with such promise! Then everything fell apart.

Just. WHAT. GOD. YOUR TIMING. *cries in corner*

Credit: justlittlethings.net

So I went. Surprisingly, it didn’t turn out as bad as I had imagined it in my head. Actually, it wasn’t bad at all. What was bad, though, was how I came in so SELFISH and unprepared. First off, I didn’t get to donate anything for the girls’ goodie bags. Seeing what the other volunteers had brought in, I realized I could’ve donated a lot of things — I just wasn’t creative enough to think of them. Second, I had initially regarded this outreach as any other outreach I’d gone to back when I was still in school (FYI: I hated the last one we had ’cause the people basically took advantage of our kindness). But boy, was I proved wrong.

In visiting Marillac, I realized the time I spent was worth my while because I got to provide happiness to a bunch of girls who regarded the supposed sanctuary they were in as a prison. Although the girls were placed there for their protection, they still felt unhappy ’cause aside from them not being allowed to go out, their family members also rarely came to visit. So I guess having us around provided a sort of distraction for them… and that made me feel quite fulfilled.

Honestly, though, I never really got the reason behind going on (Christian) outreaches (yeah, yeah, bad Catholic School girl). I don’t know. I always felt like I was imposing. But from yesterday’s activity, I realized it’s because when you represent your God or your belief and share this with others, you don’t impose, really, but they see through you and your kind actions what a Christian is like. And they take this as a kind of hope that their lives could still be better.

(I waited too long to write this post that I had lost my train of thought but I do hope you got my drift.)

So there. I learned quite a lot from this experience. Thank You, God. I hope You would permit me to do better in the future.

P.S. Pictures! (We weren’t allowed to take pictures with the girls so this was all I got)

One of the projects we made the girls do! 🙂
One of the girls did this neat trick with craypas! I was awesomed by it. :3
With Trish (middle) & Rona (right)! Trish arrived 5 minutes before the outreach ended. Whut. :))

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