Also known as Shameless Self-Promotion #001. LOL.
I found that today’s episode of Nashville is actually its season finale. Probably totally unrelated: my friends and I did a cover of Lennon & Maisy’s version of Telescope a few weeks back. I finally got my hands on the video recording. Here it is for your entertainment. Feel free to laugh. Or comment. Or like the video. Har.
Watching the finale in a bit! No spoilers please!
It is Pentecost Sunday as of writing, and a series of events have happened throughout the day that led me to think of these two topics: AGE and SPIRITUALITY.
Let’s start with AGE. I was attending mass this afternoon when this really pretty lady, maybe in her 40s, walked in. There were no seats left so she just stood in the corner for about a minute. One guy from the choir offered her his seat, which I found strange, as there were at least two other women before Pretty Lady who passed by and didn’t even get the same gesture. Perks of being pretty, I guess? Or just mere happenstance?
Anyway, I kept glancing at the lady all throughout the mass ’cause she was just REALLY gorgeous! She was probably half-Spanish; her skin was clear and perfectly olive. Her hair, medium golden blonde with a few gray streaks. She wore a black ensemble paired with tasteful silver accessories, and toted a white Chanel-looking bag. Everything about her just screamed CLASSY!!! and DID NOT UNDERGO COSMETIC SURGERY!!! and I found myself wishing I could age even just half as gracefully as she had.
Despite this, though, if you look carefully, you could still guess which age bracket she belonged to. I then found myself looking at the other women beside her and calculating their respective ages. At one point, I looked at my mom and thought, “She doesn’t look like she’s turning 60 soon. Hmm…” And, “Aww yeah, I’m not going to be fat when I reach her age!” LOL genes. ♥
Anyhoo, the priest also happened to share with us an anecdote about him being asked to bless a lady who was turning 105 years old. He shared how he asked what the lady’s secret was for reaching that age and what changes she noticed over the past century. Apparently, he never got the answers to his questions ’cause the century-old lady was already hard of hearing.
A thought struck me as he was giving his homily — we will never be as young as we are at the moment. People my age sometimes joke about how old we’ve gotten and how time has gone by so fast. One minute we’re just in our living rooms watching Dexter’s Laboratory on TV and the next minute, we’re applying for jobs or, gasp, getting married and having babies.
What I think my age bracket fails to appreciate, though, is that we are currently in our prime! At this point, our bodies, supposedly, are at their most optimal state! It’s at this age that we’re at our most beautiful and are virtually wrinkle-free; we’re armed with all the necessary artillery and our bodies can basically recover from anything we throw at it (assuming they’re thrown in moderation). We’re also considered LEGAL, so we can do whatever we want without people thinking we’re too young or too old for it. Doesn’t that just sound so exciting?!
This just further strengthens the idea of how we, the twenty-somethings, should use this time to experiment or find out what we truly want in our lives. Think about it: most of us are done with university and are just getting into our first (few) jobs. There’s still time for trial and error before we decide to settle down (whether financially or whatever else). There are still so many places to visit and hipster music festivals to attend. There’s also a huge opportunity to discover spirituality ’cause we finally have the time (and space) to get away and drown out all the noises around us.
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My cousin went to my house tonight to discuss her anxieties about her future as an artist and an art major. It was a long conversation that involved the keywords pre-quarter life crisis, priorities, timelines, and SPIRITUALITY. Basically, I told her that I went, and still am going, through the same motions and that it was too early for her to think that way. The thing with my cousin is that she can be too intense sometimes. I kept telling her that she still had a whole decade to figure out what she needed to prioritize and what she needed to trash, and that by worrying, she could just possibly miss out on the things that make being a twenty-something awesome.
One thing I noticed was that I always attacked her problems at a spiritual standpoint. I told her that I wouldn’t have gotten through the motions without the spirit guiding me through all of them, and that her problems could be easily answered if she just had the right mindset.
You see, it was after I got sick that I went through what she’s going through right now. By that time, I had already made up my mind that I wanted to learn more about my faith, so I joined my current community. I have learned SO MUCH since and I felt so blessed I got to share it with my cousin.
I found it quite quaint that these thoughts came to me on Pentecost Sunday — the day that celebrates the time the early church got to receive the Holy Spirit. It made me realize how much I’ve matured since I, myself, got to receive the Holy Spirit through our Life in the Spirit Experience (or LSS, to most). Since then, I’ve gained so much wisdom through teachings and discernment, and I also got to easily forgive and let go of things that weren’t healthy for me.
Serviam’s LSE 12. Can you spot me? LOL.
During today’s homily, the priest also mentioned these lines: “When you are filled with the Holy Spirit and you are moved to forgive someone who has hurt you, forgive them. Don’t hold on to the resentment, especially when you feel like you’re being moved to forgive.” This struck me the most ’cause just a few weeks ago, I had randomly messaged someone who hurt me and told them I forgive them. That was a day after the spirit-filled corporate worship we had, and I honestly, HONESTLY felt SO moved to forgive. My inner pride said NO, ABBY, DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, but I still couldn’t stop myself from sending the message. It just felt right. And I immediately felt better afterwards. Have you ever gotten that feeling? It’s just beyond rad!
Anyway, I’m turning preachy again, and that’s far from what I wanted to happen with this entry. Just wanted to write down my thoughts to make sense of them all. Hope you had a wonderful weekend! :D
inedible ink. Do not drink.
— Yael Yuzon (@yaelyraz) May 13, 2013
Today is Election Day in the Philippines! By the time I publish this post, voting places would have already been closed so I hope those of you from my country who read this have already fulfilled your civic duties. If not, well, know that you technically have no right to complain about how the government runs our country.
Anyway, this election would be my second time voting. It should have been my third, but I lived in my own little bubble back in 2007, so I didn’t really care much about anything. We were also just voting for senators then and I didn’t think it was a big deal, so I just went on my merry little way. It was only after I graduated from university and saw how things really were that I realized I had to stop being apathetic about some things, so N and I finally went on to register.
2010 was my first time to vote. I actually had reservations then, since I’d have to go to a public place and surround myself with all those people… and germs (that was the time I was undergoing treatment). But I went with my dad really early on election day, anyway, armed with my trusty N90 mask. That year was when COMELEC launched the PCOS machine to be used for the National Elections, so things ran faster than usual (according to those who have experienced voting without it). This year, since I lacked sleep the night before, I decided not to join my parents in the morning and vote late into the afternoon instead. That proved to be a great idea ’cause the precincts were virtually empty by then and I got to finish everything in less than 5 minutes.
My very own #selfinger. (Not posted on Instagram/social networking sites, like all the other MAPOTIs have done.)
Ironic anecdote: while in the precinct this afternoon, the volunteers were talking about this friend of theirs who was diagnosed with cancer and died after a week. One of them asked what the symptoms for cancer were and the other said, “Basta masakit ang likod mo, tapos may nakakapa kang bukol.” (When your back hurts and you feel a lymph node somewhere.) Another replied with, “Hala! Masakit pa naman likod ko ngayon!” (Oh no! My back happens to be hurting right now!)
I found it really ironic that that was what they were talking about at that very moment, and that was exactly what I was going through the first time I experienced voting. FYI, those back pains would probably be accompanied by fevers, night sweats, and unexplained weight loss too, but the lady was right — if you ever feel anything unusual with your body, make sure you have it checked right away and not just brush it off. :)
On the way home, my dad asked me who I voted for. On the way to the voting place, actually, he already advised me on who to pick and I was all, “Uhhhhh my 12 slots have already been filled. But I’m voting for 1 of the 3 you mentioned.” He replied with a, “Vote for all 3! There’s still time to change!” And I said, “I did my research on ALL of them and they’re the best ones so no, I’m not changing my vote.” We ended up having a mini debate in the car.
Basically, what I noticed is that my dad mostly voted candidates based on how they made him feel. He mentioned something about leftists and family feuds and whatever and I was all, “I don’t care about those, Pa. I care about their credentials and their stands on important issues. I don’t judge them based on how nice they are, but how good they are at making and implementing laws for the betterment of our country.” (Yehesss, kunwari well-functioning member of society!)
Anyway, I know I should have taken into consideration what he said, but then I would always feel like there would be disconnect. I voted for those candidates because they were, for me, the logical choice. And that’s exactly what I think our country needs right now, TBQH. There’s already too much drama and stupidity around to nominate feelers over thinkers. My generation will be the one suffering greatly from the decisions made by these future leaders, so it really is in our hands to vote for those whom we know can change our country for the better. But yeah, to each his or her own. I hope you voted wisely as well.
To end this post, here’s a song I found on the interwebs today. I’m not into this kind of music, but the message is pretty spot-on (and I think my friend’s sister styled this, haha!) so…
Sooooo… I’m back! After pseudo-promising I would be blogging regularly again, alas, I have once again failed! Not only with this, but with my Project 365 as well. I’m quite disappointed with myself, but also a bit proud, ’cause in exchange, I actually got to accomplish so many things in real life.
For example, the successful Singles Encounter Weekend we had last April 12 – 14.
27 new SE babies! Praise God! <3
Attended a chain of community activities.
The Singles Ministry is growing! <3
Went on numerous roadtrips with the fambam.
Here we are at Enchanted Kingdom. <3
I’ve finally found the time to work on the stuff I’ve put on hold over the past few months due to SE responsibilities. I’ve also seen Iron Man 3 TWICE. YES OMG I HAVE A LIFE. LOL.
But anyway, I kinda miss blogging. I miss using my brain to string up words that pretend to make sense. To be quite honest, I think I’ve actually been hit by writer’s block (or shall I say blogger’s block?). That, and oppression… which I think I’ll focus on in this Welcome Back! blog entry of mine. Hurray! /sarcasm
But no, seriously, life has been quite… interesting as of late. A lot of stuff has happened from the time of my last blog to now that has made me question just what exactly God has in store for me and my family. Today, for example, is my graduation from being an Entrant at our community. I’m finally moving on to Service! Today also happens to be the day my brother’s kidney decided to be a bitch and totally screw him over.
Yeaaaaah, kidney party!
My dad also got randomly bludgeoned on the head by some crazy lady a few weeks ago, but you know, who’s counting. My mom has been keeping a strong front all this time. I’m definitely going all out this coming Mother’s Day.
After all we’ve been through, you’d think I would be cursing The Almighty by now. Nope, total opposite, in fact! It’s during these times that I superglue myself to Him, and I’m very proud to proclaim that He has never left me alone and has even given me thrice as much happiness for every count of sadness.
I never really thought I could be even more positive than I already am, but I have. This realization came to me while I was reflecting on the events of this morning: you don’t FIGHT OPPRESSION with DEPRESSION, you fight it with HAPPINESS (and prayer)!
You know how they say you should smile at your enemies ’cause nothing would confuse them more? Smiling at oppression would be like giving the devil a big F U and a sucker punch to the face. That’s what I think, at least, but there’s no harm in trying it out. You can’t control the bad things that happen to you, but you CAN control how you react to them.
Me? I honestly think that the things happening right now are made to prepare me (and my family) for something great. What that something is is a blur right now, but I’m sure they will be revealed in time. I just have to keep the faith. :)
I hope you’re all doing well right now! Sorry for this poor excuse for a post. Still trying to shake off the right hearse block. :)
Are you familiar with Murphy’s Law? It is the adage that goes: “Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.” In our church community, we call this OPPRESSION. Since we’re continually growing in our faith, the devil will always find a way to dishearten us and make us lose our trust in God. This is especially strong whenever we’re on our way to learning more about God, or doing something for the betterment of other people.
My Singles Encounter classmates and I have less than a week left until our Singles Encounter sponsorship weekend, and to write off the past few days as “eventful” would probably be the understatement of the century.
Last Sunday, I woke up early to go for an ocular visit at our retreat venue for the coming weekend. I arrived at our meeting place just in time to catch the morning Easter mass. During the PEACE part, I suddenly felt a bit weird. I felt my chest constrict. I thought it was just a passing feeling, but then it worsened as the seconds passed, and lasted for at least 3 minutes. It wasn’t painful or anything (but then again, I’ve been questioning my pain threshold since 2010), just that I felt like my chest was being squeezed tight by some unknown force.
I panicked, of course, and decided to send an SMS to my two doctors to ask if it was related to my cancer, or the current meds I was taking, etc., etc. It was my first time to feel such a thing, you see, and it was nearing my check-up date, so you could only imagine why I was panicking. My rad-onco was the first to reply, telling me that I should visit him so he could properly check my symptoms and rule out the possibilities of it being related to lymphoma. He said it was probably cardio-related. My med-onco, on the other hand, said it could just be heartburn and that if it persists, I should have it checked. But that aside from that, I just had to keep coming for regular check-ups with my doctors to make sure that everything was in order.
I still visited my rad-onco the next day. He asked me to have an ECG + 2D Echo done to check that everything’s alright. He explained that chemo has a long-term effect on the heart (or actually, on ALL organs), a price survivors eventually have to pay to, well, survive. He assured me, though, that what I went through was probably just a stress-related thing. Which, I would have to admit, was really the case, as the night before, I was hyper-stressing over the pending stuff I still had to do before the retreat weekend.
But anyway, yeah, my heart is fine. I think it just forgot it was April Fools’ Day and not Valentine’s Day. My heart can be too full of itself sometimes. LOLWHUT.
Fast forward to Tuesday.
Before leaving for Makati, my mom and I had this dialogue:
HER: God bless, babes. Always remember: just because you’re serving (the Lord), doesn’t mean you’re exempted from trials.
ME: Umm. Thanks, Ma. But isn’t it BECAUSE I’m serving that I should assume I will never be exempted from trials?
This has got to be the most prophetic dialogue we’ve ever had. EVER. Goes to show just how powerful words can be, and all the lengths oppression will go through just to bring you down. But I’m getting ahead of myself.
I wanted to go home early from worship that day so I could get a good night’s sleep in preparation for a job interview I was having the next day. We got to finish early-ish from our harana (praise God for all the donations that came in that day!), but I got on the wrong-ish van going home (it didn’t pass through Skyway, but it did go inside our village, so I’m not really sure how I feel about it). Anyway, when I got home and got to the door, I heard my dad say in an odd voice, “Abby, is that you?” I thought he was just being funny but then when I entered the house and turned the corner, the first thing I saw was him, lying on the kitchen floor, sweating buckets. When I switched on the lights, his face was all red and he said he couldn’t stand up ’cause he was really dizzy. I didn’t know what to do for maybe 2 whole minutes. I debated whether to check the internet for what to give him, call my doctor friends, or call my relatives. I resorted to giving my dad what he asked for, like water and towels, while he was trying to hold himself up and vomit at the same time. I decided to give my nurse aunt a ring (although my dad told me not to ’cause he claimed he was going to be fine). WHATEVER, DAD.
So I called my aunt and she sent my nurse cousin, J, to the rescue (thank God for family as neighbors!). She took my dad’s blood pressure and found it was 200/100. WTF. My other aunt then came by, I went ahead and called my sister-in-law (’cause my brother was working the night shift), my uncle arrived, and we all brought Papa to the hospital.
He was under observation for 5 hours. They conducted tests, gave him lots of meds, and checked his blood pressure regularly. J, sissy-in-law, and I stayed at the hospital the whole time (from 12MN – 5 AM). Around 4:30, I was already panicking ’cause I had to get ready for my interview (travel time to the interview place was 2 hours, so you could only imagine my stress!). Papa was already feeling a tiny bit better but we had to wait for my brother to get back from work so we could pay the hospital bill and have Papa discharged. Everything worked out in the end, though. It did, it really did.
Me & Cousin J in ze ER. (Haggard much? LOL)
Let me just tell you how all things worked together for my good (and Papa’s) that day.
1) No one was home with Papa that night. He had already been lying on the floor for an hour and a half before I arrived. When I got off the van a few minutes prior, I had debated with myself whether to have my prepaid number loaded or not, since I figured I didn’t need to contact anyone, anyway. Since there were no tricycles passing by, I said to myself, “Oh, well, better buy some credits now so I won’t have to think about it tomorrow”. So I did, right? And then I came home to THAT.
2) When I called my aunt, I didn’t know that she was in Mindanao. I only realized she was when everyone except her showed up at our house. LOL. Cousin J is only visiting, as she’s currently applying for jobs here in Manila. If she proceeded with one of her successful applications, she probably wouldn’t be there that night and I’d probably be running around like a headless chicken at home while waiting for the next thing to do. (This was obviously my first emergency situation!)
3) I had gotten home from the hospital on time, left early, and arrived at the interview place on time as well. AND I MADE IT THROUGH… kind of. I passed, but I have to wait to move on to the next stage. WHICH IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME. :D I realized, maybe the reason why God stopped me from sleeping was ’cause he knew I wouldn’t be able to wake up on time. Haha. If that’s so, that’s good enough for me as well! LOL.
4) It was probably a good thing Mama wasn’t home. I don’t think she could handle leaving my dad alone and flying to another country if she saw the state my dad was in. On that note, though, I can never leave my dad alone now. He has to be with someone at all times.
5) My father has finally learned that he is not invincible and that he is aging. So many promises he’s made to himself today. No more drinking! No more missing a dosage! No more overworking!
You know what I felt when I got home later that day from my interview? So magnificently blessed. Blessed because God sent angels to guide me that day. Blessed because he gave us enough time to learn a LESSON, not a REGRET. Blessed because he gave me such wonderful family members. Blessed because of those who cared enough to ask about, and pray for my dad. My SE-mate SMSd me randomly with a: “The Lord has been so faithful to you! <3” T called to ask if I was okay; M sent this to me on FB:
Did I ever mention that God has blessed me with such a wonderful support system? He has. My family and friends are the reason why I’m still alive today. They keep me sane. I love them with all my heart. <3
Ultimately, I feel blessed to be part of a community like Serviam. Since being here, I’ve gone through so many trials, but gained so many victories; I’ve learned to acknowledge and deal with oppression; I’ve learned to curb my anger and look at things at an even greater light; I’ve become a better person. Not completely better, but still better.
As our Singles Encounter Weekend draws closer, I can’t say I’m surprised that all these things are happening. The fact that they are this immense, though, affirms my belief that I’m doing the right thing, and that what I’m about to do is huge. Huge enough for me to deserve all this striking down from the evils of this world.
Do you see this smirk, Oppression? This one’s reserved especially for you. You may be great, but my God is greater. And He makes all things work together for my good.
*infinity smirk*
Abby. 24. Web Designer. Life, Art, Travel, and Happiness Fangirl. Quarter-Life Crisis Queen. Internet Oversharer. Big C Survivor. More?
